Dating a self centred man

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I am a 23 year old woman, and am in love with this guy. He has admitted that he is very self conscious with his image, and I've noticed him looking at himself in the mirror or in a reflection every time we pass by one. He constantly talks about mens fashion, and what looks good on him.

11 Signs That Your Boyfriend is Too Self-Centered

He changes his hairstyle all the time and asks me if I like it. He doesn't like his eyes, and so wears sunglasses whenever possible, because he says that he has lost his spark that he used to have, even though i love his eyes and have told him I'd rather see him without glasses, so then he takes them off eventually. He talks about himself all the time, and doesn't ask me questions.

I'm always asking him questions, and from looking at some questions on this website I've learnt that some people communicate by asking questions to each other like me , and others sort of expect you to contribute with ideas without them having to ask questions possibly him? But whenever I say something, instead of asking about it he says something about himself instead, as if he needs to prove something. He still has his online dating profile up, even though he has told me that the last date he went on with another woman was a few months ago which I do believe because he used to tell me about his dates all the time until one day he told me he only wants to date me and nobody else, but he goes on his profile every day he doesn't know I know this but I plan on asking him about it soon.

I think he probably goes on the website for validation, and probably likes receiving messages from women because it makes him feel more worthy. However, over time he has finally started to open up more and be more generous and comfortable and affectionate. He likes to hug me in public now, and hold my hand. This wasn't the case until quite recently, and I can sense that he likes me more every time we meet. Also I've read that narcissists love to give lots of presents and shower their partner with compliments, and then go cold and distant on them.

My boyfriend doesn't do this, he has never given me a present even though he said he would but then forgets or says it is still in in house or whatever, and he doesn't compliment me too much. But when he does compliment me, it is very thoughtful and he has started complimenting me a bit more every time we see each other. Oh, also, we have never had sex, which is another thing I read about narcissistic people, that they use their partners for sex, and that they are very confident, but my boyfriend has told me things that he lacks confidence in, even though most of the time he is a bit of a show off.

This is what makes me doubt he is narcissistic, and maybe just has low self esteem. He hasn't met my friends, but someone close to me who was dating a sociopath for a few years says that from what I've described, they have similar personalities. I wouldn't say I agree as my guy seems quite normal most of the time and does listen to me sometimes, whereas her ex partner was actually abusive to her children and incredibly charming and manipulative in a scary way. My boyfriend isn't abusive. But sometimes I am not very good at judging people, and so this is why I've decided to ask metafilter.

13 Warning Signs Of A Self-Absorbed Partner

I realise most of you are going to say that it doesn't matter whether he is narcissistic or not and to dump him anyway, but my question is whether or not he is narcissistic or am I exaggerating here? None of us can answer this question. We aren't your boyfriend or your boyfriend's therapist. I think all the answer you need has been covered in your question from last week. The things you are describing are not traits of clinical narcissism. You could casually call someone interested in their own appearance "narcissistic" as an insult, but it doesn't have much to do with the diagnosis.

Clinical narcissism involves a pattern where the narcissist is always right, and any problems they encounter are due to other people because of course it couldn't possibly be their fault, because they're always right. They're also the best at everything and if they encounter something they don't know how to do, they'll often refuse to do it. My girlfriend is working with a kid in the process of being evaluated for this, so I've been hearing a lot about it lately. What you're describing sounds a lot more like simple insecurity, not uncommon and not a problem in itself.

You don't say much about how you feel about this relationship, but don't freak out because someone who has never met the dude mentioned a medical term.

Why men pull away after sex (and what you can do about it!)

Is this the same guy you asked about last week? You are not in love with this guy. These questions indicate that you don't know him at all.

The difference between being self centered and being a narcissist - Terri Cole

And your gut is trying to tell you something is off. Never mind if he fits the definition of a narcissist. Have you talked to him about your concerns? Because adults in a healthy relationship are able to do that. Talk to your boyfriend and tell him what's up. Or go find someone whose intentions and affections you don't constantly question.

Whether or not he fits the clinical profile of NPD is totally irrelevant. Whether or not he is like your friend's ex is irrelevant. You are describing someone who doesn't seem to care much about you and doesn't exhibit any of the traits of a well-adjusted adult with whom you can build a healthy, happy, loving relationship. I realise most of you are going to say that it doesn't matter whether he is narcissistic or not Yes. Internet strangers cannot diagnose your boyfriend.

Unless you're into collecting psychiatric types for your memoirs, why are you hung up on whether he meets that specific definition?

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The question is whether you're happy in the relationship. In your question, you didn't get even close to the real issue. Yeah, that's generally about small-talk at parties, or getting to know strangers, or trying to dodge questions about your personal life at work.

Not interactions with significant others.

Here are 13 traits of self-centered people you should watch out for:

I am the world champion of asking questions of other people to get out of talking about myself, but if I were dating someone who never asked me about myself I would DTMFA in a second. Are you talking "narcissist" as in "narcissistic personality disorder"? Because that is a clinical diagnosis and you being able to divine a clinical diagnosis by observing his behavior isn't something you can put any stock into unless you're a trained mental health professional and if you were , you'd probably have a better idea of the answer better than any of us would. The other way that "narcissist" is used is an insult toward a person who is supposedly vain and self-obsessed.

But in that case, it's still little more than an insult. Very few people are wholly unconcerned with their physical appearance and if you don't like someone it's easy to slap that word onto them because they look in mirrors when they pass them by and concern themselves with fashion. You're getting hung up on the definition of a Narcissist, when really the guy just sounds like a bit of an idiot.

He's still checking his online dating profile even though you've been dating for 6 months? You haven't had sex yet? He never asks you about you and always manages to turn the conversation around to him? He's never given you a gift even though he promised he would? He hasn't met your friends? Phew - this is a LOT of drama for a 6 month old relationship and I'd advise you to dump him.

If He Does These 13 Things, He’s Too Self-Centered For A Serious Relationship | Thought Catalog

I don't see this relationship going anywhere good I am a pretty narcissistic person. Your boyfriend doesn't sound narcissistic. Your boyfriend sounds extremely insecure. He also sounds like kind of a twat. It also sounds like you don't like him very much. It doesn't really matter if he's got a diagnosable condition or if he's narcissistic or a sociopath or depressed or anything of the sort, because him Being A Named Thing or Not Being A Named Thing wouldn't change the dynamics of your relationship at all.

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I give you my official permission to break up with this guy, regardless of any clinical diagnoses he does or doesn't have. This question as well as the last one paint a picture of a dysfunctional relationship. There is nothing to save here. Don't waste more time on someone who isn't really into you. He's quite unlikely to change and there's nothing here that you can fix. Whether or not he has a mental disorder isn't important as he's already demonstrated that he's not capable of having a healthy relationship with you.

You've given him 6 months of time with very poor results. I think it's time to dump him and find a functional, adult relationship. Framing the situation as one where you are "blinded by love" is dramatic and unrealistic, and it doesn't actually help you because A it makes this relationship seem very romantic, and B positions you as being helpless and unable to make any choices except follow along. But how he's behaving toward you is not romantic, and you are not actually helpless, even if you feel attached to him, or scared of being single, or whatever.

If you can start consciously choosing less dramatic language to describe what's going on, it will likely help you clarify what decisions you need to make, and give you the confidence to make them. I do not know what, if any, clinical diagnosis applies to your boyfriend. The social diagnosis that applies to your boyfriend is "kind of a hot damn mess.

Christ on a tandem bike. Is he David Caruso?

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The fact is we pretty much all date someone ridiculous and bad for us when we're 23, and this is your turn. So break up with him and move on to the phase of your life when you do things that make you happy instead. He doesn't like his eyes, and so wears sunglasses whenever possible, because he says that he has lost his spark that he used to have, I stand by my comment in the previous thread suggesting that he is using you as his beard. Gosh, palomago, I'm sorry. I don't know if he sounds like a classic narcissist but he is absolutely a drip.

You deserve better, and you clearly WANT better, and I think the sooner you go and seek better the better off you will be. To elaborate on my comment from above; in this question and your last one, it sounds like you're fishing around for a reason to break up with him because of his behavior.